personality types, post secrets, and grape friut.

grape fruit is the bain of my exsistance. thats all i really have to say about it..

moving on, post secrets. now we all have things hidden deep down in our souls. i know i have my own that i've never confided to another human, and i probably never will. sometimes we supress them so much that they lose their reality. it becomes like remembering a dream. i thought about writting to post secrets, exercising my inner demons, but it's kind of lame to go through my inventory of shame to find a really good one. for some people i'm sure it's very theraputic to devolge that they stole thier friends admissions essay, or whatever their "thing" is. but idk i feel some of them are a little half hearted. it is however so very conforting to read said "secrets" and know that i am not as weird, and insane as i think i am. it's amazing to read them and think, "OMG! i did that, or that happened to me, or i feel the same way" you know, i think we all have the same thoughts, but we're all so afraid of what everyone else will think, so we never say them. if one person would just say what they really think, and not give a shit about what joe asshole down the street thought, we would be so connected, and advanced. i think it would solve the majority of the problems that have plauged humans since our creation. i would be the first to confess all my sins, but i'm so chicken shit.

i took a personality quiz to find my "type," i proudly say thay i am a ENFJ, or "the giver". the whole thing goes very indepth (but is very spot on) but in lamest terms, i tend to put other people before myself. which is very true. it also said that i can read people well, and know the motives behind their actions. this is also true. on a not so good of a note, it said i have the tendency to maniplulate people who don't do what i like, which i resent. but this is also saddly true. so i spent 3 hours, to find out things i already knew about myself. i don't really know what i expected to come of it. i guess i was looking for some kind of revalation. i'm always looking that light bulb to go off in my head. and magicly i'll just get "it". "it" meaning the reason behind everything. those big question like. why are we here? is there a purpose to the suffering in my life? am i on the right path? i know i'll never answer these pressing issue, men much smarter than i have waisted their lives in the search of them. but i can't help but wonder.

back to post secrets, as i was reading other people's most concealed troubles, i couldn't help but think if anyone had a secret that had to do with me. like someone who wronged me and i never found out, or someone who harbours hidden feelings, weather of love or hate. so if your reading this, i have to ask, if i died tomorrow, is there anything you wish you could have told me?
i have things i would tell someone if i knew they would die tomorrow, but i won't tell them if they live for another 50 years. thats so sick. i still say we should all just confess. IT SHOULD BE A HOLIDAY!!! national confession day! where you say everything to everyone you've always wanted to. it would be like global group therapy. idk i think it's a good idea.

“Humanity is never so beautiful as when praying for forgiveness, or else forgiving another” - Jean Paul Richter some food for thought.